my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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