omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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