Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
