barbara walters just said penis...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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