Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
