What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
