it wasn't lemon gatorade
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
