Three words: puerto rican gang bang
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize
