New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
