i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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