..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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