I'm drive I can fine osifer
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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