All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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