If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
