I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
