Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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