she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
