i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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