you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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