She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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