Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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