Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Randomize