I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
