And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
