I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
