I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Randomize
