Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
