Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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