As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize
