Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
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