I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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