P.S. I can't hear my feet
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize