Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
