Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
