she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Randomize
