I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
