She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
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I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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