you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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