Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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