my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Randomize
