why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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