What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
