covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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