I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
we should paint friendship bongs
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
