You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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