Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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