Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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