1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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