More tranny stories later!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
