I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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