But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
