So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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