so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
