seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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