How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
