i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
