My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
