it hurts more in the daytime
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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