Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
