i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
