Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
