i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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