and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
