O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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